What I learned in the year 2020

They say hindsight is 2020, and to tell you the truth it is. What has my heart learned in 2020?

That there is nothing outside of you that matters. That you can get sucked up in the BS when you think you need to be a part of something, or anything.

I have learned that anything that makes me fearful, upset, angry, depressed or any other negative feeling is definitely not the right path for me. It drew me into a lot of things that did not need me to be there, but I think I wanted to be a part of it for the human aspect of it. We all want to feel like we belong.

So after being fear driven, scared and jumping on the train of despair. I tried out a way to deal with the drama going on around me. I did not do well with the thought of a face mask; I panic and feel like I am drowning. I can wear a face shield when I go out four wheeling. So I was like, why can I wear a face shield for hours at a time but have such a fit over a mask in a store?

I have been watching others on Social media that have shown how devastating the face mask can be. There are types of mask that worn wrong or that are filthy can cause harm. Plastic face mask is not your friend, and most of those blue free from the store mask are very toxic.

I wear a cotton face shield when out riding; they breathe, which in return help me breathe. So there is the smart way of wearing a mask, of course.

I don’t know how many people I’ve seen, walk around with a filthy mask on, that I have witnessed every time I go out. Yes, I think we all can agree, that will cause you to get sick.

So back to my experiment. After I got away from the fear mongering of the Main Stream Media and Social Media. I conducted my experiment.

Little back ground here; I got kicked out of Natural Grocers for not wanting to wearing a mask. I have no idea why they went nazi. I mean, their rent a-cops are pretty nasty and will cause a scene. I have seen how nasty they can be first hand.

So I tried to do their Instacart, but I kept getting really nasty food and I was paying extra for garbage food. I tried three times and was very put off because just about anyone with a car can shop for you and drive up to your home. NOT A SAFE THING TO DO!!

So here I am pissed off, I want to go shopping for my food; I want to pick out my produce and I want to be free to go in and not be harassed by men and women who think they are above the law.

What to do?

I decided enough was enough and figured I would become the enemy in disguise. The Trojan horse, the military that dressed in the uniforms of their enemies. I would go incognito!

I entered the enemy’s lair in a mask. Of course I found one very sheer but not too sheer, very comfortable and breathable. I walked in and did my shopping.

Natural grocers had two guards of delusion stationed at the front door, and I had such a sense of power as I walked by and smiled at having entered disguised. I walked under their radar; I was free to move around and get all the goodies, and no one could say one thing about it.

I enjoyed the freedom to move around and take my time to shop and find my treasures! And the delusional couldn’t say one thing to me. How empowering! Now remember, this is my active imagination having fun with the fear I had been creating for some time.

Second stop was to Sam’s Club, where they were not as bad in the mindset of socialism. There were many who had the mask but did not wear them in a nazi capacity! There were no uniform morons to stand there and act as if they were above the constitutional freedom given to every born individual. Very nice! Again, pleasantly surprised and had a great shopping trip.

It was surprising how friendly people were to one another when a mask was worn. I could take and pursue a negative thought about these interactions, but I chose not to go that route. What I found in a positive light is that even with the nonsense of what is going on, you can change the rules when interacting with those who follow anything or anyone blindly. I was teaching myself how to deal with those things that bother me.

I had accomplished my goal, and I walked through the valley of the shadows and I came out with a new outlook on this crazy time.

2020 has shown me that there is absolutely nothing outside of me I should fear. The heart is the only thing I should listen to.

The main stream media and social media is the opinion of men and women. I found that these thoughts and actions others are doing are only out there so I can feel my way to the right mindset for me. Not from absorbing that which causes me some kind of stress or panic.

I am as guilty as the rest; they sucked me into the drama and the fear, and I reacted to this in a way that was not good for me. In spirit, mentally and physically, it was very hard on me. I felt despair and fear! I became very depressed and withdrew from life.

But when I got away from the drama and the fear mongering, I found peace and I really put into practice how to not absorb that which was not meant for me.

I realize that this world is not about fairness, in fact even with all the beauty there is a hell here and it can consume you. This place is one that you will never find true peace unless it lives in yourself. That this world is backwards in so many ways. There is no getting it all figured out, in fact, if you think you have you are so misguided. There will always be challenges, there is no other way. I came to this world to learn and then get the heck out!

This year showed me I only have me and spirit, that there is no wrong or right way, there is only finding your way back to being happy. How I rise and fall with this journey called life. To ride the waves and enjoy the calm. I found it is okay to try different ways to do things in life and that I am not always right!

This year helped me to realize that it is okay to allow others to have their feelings and what they want to believe in.

I can feel and use my emotions as a guiding light.

That is way more beneficial to be around like-minded people and to allow others to learn the lessons they came here to learn. Freedom for all!

Even in the masks covering I found a freedom others fear they will not get.

Are the mask bad? I would say yes if you allow them to be. It is all in the mind and heart. I heard spirit say over and over, choose your battles.

This year taught me how to follow my heart and let go of those thoughts and actions of others. The only cage we find ourselves in is the cage we create.

“Get yourself out of whatever cage you find yourself in.” 
― John Cage

I found this year a truth and honesty I needed to give myself. There is only one person in this world who can make me feel anything, and that person is me!

“Our intention is to affirm this life, not to bring order out of chaos, nor to suggest improvements in creation, but simply to wake up to the very life we’re living, which is so excellent once one gets one’s mind and desires out of its way and lets it act of its own accord.” 
― John Cage

I look forward to the challenges of the new year, to find my path of least resistance and to stay in my happy thoughts. I know that there will be difficulties, but I look forward to finding the hidden messages! I look forward to conducting my own experiments and creating the world I want.


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