“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies, so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” (Marilyn Monroe)
I am back! It’s been an eternal moment indeed. So much to share and tell you about. Ohh, go get you some tea and a couple of biscuits.
I have been off on a sabbatical of sorts, learning to be mindful of all I do. I have been suffering to be sure. As I go deeper into my truth of who I am and want to be, well, I have lost friends and family.
Of course, the great reset in our world is happening as I write this.
The world is finding out that they have been deceived, which has many bothered, and that is putting it mildly, and that has put a strain on very fragile relationships. Our world has been on the verge of a total meltdown. Many people are waking to the fact that our medical, government and well a whole hell of a lot we once thought was truth, well it is all BS!
As the government has become a dictor instead of working for the people, we are now in a struggle to get our very spirit given rights back.
I will not go into the sematic’s of what is happening. I am sure when Spirit finds you are ready for the truth, it will show you the truth. The quote -> you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make him drink, comes into play here. “You can show someone something that will benefit him, but you can’t force him to accept it. People, like horses, will do as they will.”
The sad thing is that those around me have removed me from their life because I cause a feeling of confusion and discomfort. I bring up triggers in themselves that they wish to keep hidden and not look deeply into it. Which is fine, but it hurts.
The loss because we can not have the uncomfortable conversations, is very saddening. Although it has helped me to become stronger and more compassionate. As I walk with Spirit and myself, I find that I have compassion and understanding for those who run from one thing to another, trying to stay distracted from the very things that make them uncomfortable.
Dis ease causes Disease there is only so much running, and distractions one can choose until the body, the mind and the spirit cause so much suffering that you either medicate the problem or you stop and look deeply into the root causes of your suffering.
It was very profound to find that I was super lazy when it came to looking deeply into myself. You can run from one thing to another. It is easy to distract yourself, yet I always felt like I wasn’t good enough that I lacked something. No amount of doing for others, or trying to medicate, even with herbs and supplements, could take away that feeling of loss, the hollowness in the heart. To agree with others just so you could be around them, the fear that if you thought differently, you would be exposed and seen. Ughh, I couldn’t stand the lie!
It was a raw feeling to come out and become myself, to be uncomfortable and to state my opinions. To live my truth and to walk in true faith> it is a bitch to break the cycle of trying to appease the masses. Yet, here is the reward: once you break from the matrix of conformity and compliance, you become a warrior for others. They see the strength and the power you inherit. Oh, at first they resent you and become angry at you, but as they watch, they see a mustard size seed of what they once were.
We become the teachers, the mentors, the healers, and we show the way by walking in our own ways, to live truthfully to thy self.
Return to Wisdom
“The practices of mindful walking, mindful sitting, and mindful breathing are our foundation. With our mindful breath and mindful steps, we can produce the energy of mindfulness and return to the awakened wisdom lying in each cell of our body. That energy will embrace us and heal us.” (thich nhat hahn)
For years, I have had trouble sleeping at night. I have waited until I am on the verge of pure exhaustion. Nothing I do helps. I meditate, I took herbs I have tried deep breathing exercises. When I say everything!… I mean everything. So the other night, I stopped the running, the worrying the self medicating. I got mindful! I took a mindful breath and calmed myself. Stopped judging and kicking my ass. Laying there quietly and listen to the dark.
And then asked myself why I hated the night. For as long as I can remember, I have always hated the night. And as I laid there in the dark, all the memories I have run from distracted me from came rushing in. NOT A GOOD FEELING!! Memories from when I was a little girl till now, all coming through like a silent movie.
It doesn’t matter to tell you about them, they wouldn’t mean anything to you. Yet, those memories helped me to become mindful of my suffering. To find compassion for myself. When we go deep and look at the pain and suffering, we can give love to those places that are hurt, those places not healed.
As a parent, I have had my children sit down and start to cry. It seemed like no reason to me. But I would stop what I was doing and sit with them. I held their hand or hugged them to me. I allowed them to work through their pain and held them, letting them know I was there for them. I took the time to be there. We must do the same for ourselves.
Being there for myself, loving myself, caring for myself, helped to bring awareness to my painful memories, and I loved the person I was at that time. I sat there with her and we faced the hurts and the suffering together.
We don’t know how to do this. They taught us to go on and ignore the suffering. They taught me to push through, to push it all down and to ignore the self. To ignore a person is the greatest sin! To ignore a person we profess to love is a Sin! When we ignore the person we say we love, we send the message that we do not care nor love them. How can you love another when you love not even yourself?
“One day you will ask me which is more important? My life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.” (Khalil Gibran)
I am you, and you are me. We are all connected! It is just we forgot to acknowledge our own suffering so we could find compassion for others.
To become mindful is to become compassionate! To walk, breathe mindfully, we become alive. The mind and spirit become one. There is no other way around this. To become aware of the present moment is life! To look deeply into those places you have run from is to become mindful, which is to become alive.
I faced my suffering and came out with greater love.
These past couple of months I have suffered yet came out on the other side more alive. The world is lazy and I am free of the conformities. I am learning not to fear the deep dark places where I have hidden pain and suffering. I am learning to stop, listen, and look.
I look forward to those uncomfortable talks we all will have one day. To help one another to face those sufferings we have hidden deep within.
What is happening in the world needed to happen and when we get to the other side of this, there will be many who will find they are more alive, more compassionate and more mindful. Suffering will have a voice and care.
That is what I have been doing these past few months. I have become mindful!
Love and light! OM. Witchyanwise.