What I learned in the year 2020

They say hindsight is 2020, and to tell you the truth it is. What has my heart learned in 2020?

That there is nothing outside of you that matters. That you can get sucked up in the BS when you think you need to be a part of something, or anything.

I have learned that anything that makes me fearful, upset, angry, depressed or any other negative feeling is definitely not the right path for me. It drew me into a lot of things that did not need me to be there, but I think I wanted to be a part of it for the human aspect of it. We all want to feel like we belong.

So after being fear driven, scared and jumping on the train of despair. I tried out a way to deal with the drama going on around me. I did not do well with the thought of a face mask; I panic and feel like I am drowning. I can wear a face shield when I go out four wheeling. So I was like, why can I wear a face shield for hours at a time but have such a fit over a mask in a store?

I have been watching others on Social media that have shown how devastating the face mask can be. There are types of mask that worn wrong or that are filthy can cause harm. Plastic face mask is not your friend, and most of those blue free from the store mask are very toxic.

I wear a cotton face shield when out riding; they breathe, which in return help me breathe. So there is the smart way of wearing a mask, of course.

I don’t know how many people I’ve seen, walk around with a filthy mask on, that I have witnessed every time I go out. Yes, I think we all can agree, that will cause you to get sick.

So back to my experiment. After I got away from the fear mongering of the Main Stream Media and Social Media. I conducted my experiment.

Little back ground here; I got kicked out of Natural Grocers for not wanting to wearing a mask. I have no idea why they went nazi. I mean, their rent a-cops are pretty nasty and will cause a scene. I have seen how nasty they can be first hand.

So I tried to do their Instacart, but I kept getting really nasty food and I was paying extra for garbage food. I tried three times and was very put off because just about anyone with a car can shop for you and drive up to your home. NOT A SAFE THING TO DO!!

So here I am pissed off, I want to go shopping for my food; I want to pick out my produce and I want to be free to go in and not be harassed by men and women who think they are above the law.

What to do?

I decided enough was enough and figured I would become the enemy in disguise. The Trojan horse, the military that dressed in the uniforms of their enemies. I would go incognito!

I entered the enemy’s lair in a mask. Of course I found one very sheer but not too sheer, very comfortable and breathable. I walked in and did my shopping.

Natural grocers had two guards of delusion stationed at the front door, and I had such a sense of power as I walked by and smiled at having entered disguised. I walked under their radar; I was free to move around and get all the goodies, and no one could say one thing about it.

I enjoyed the freedom to move around and take my time to shop and find my treasures! And the delusional couldn’t say one thing to me. How empowering! Now remember, this is my active imagination having fun with the fear I had been creating for some time.

Second stop was to Sam’s Club, where they were not as bad in the mindset of socialism. There were many who had the mask but did not wear them in a nazi capacity! There were no uniform morons to stand there and act as if they were above the constitutional freedom given to every born individual. Very nice! Again, pleasantly surprised and had a great shopping trip.

It was surprising how friendly people were to one another when a mask was worn. I could take and pursue a negative thought about these interactions, but I chose not to go that route. What I found in a positive light is that even with the nonsense of what is going on, you can change the rules when interacting with those who follow anything or anyone blindly. I was teaching myself how to deal with those things that bother me.

I had accomplished my goal, and I walked through the valley of the shadows and I came out with a new outlook on this crazy time.

2020 has shown me that there is absolutely nothing outside of me I should fear. The heart is the only thing I should listen to.

The main stream media and social media is the opinion of men and women. I found that these thoughts and actions others are doing are only out there so I can feel my way to the right mindset for me. Not from absorbing that which causes me some kind of stress or panic.

I am as guilty as the rest; they sucked me into the drama and the fear, and I reacted to this in a way that was not good for me. In spirit, mentally and physically, it was very hard on me. I felt despair and fear! I became very depressed and withdrew from life.

But when I got away from the drama and the fear mongering, I found peace and I really put into practice how to not absorb that which was not meant for me.

I realize that this world is not about fairness, in fact even with all the beauty there is a hell here and it can consume you. This place is one that you will never find true peace unless it lives in yourself. That this world is backwards in so many ways. There is no getting it all figured out, in fact, if you think you have you are so misguided. There will always be challenges, there is no other way. I came to this world to learn and then get the heck out!

This year showed me I only have me and spirit, that there is no wrong or right way, there is only finding your way back to being happy. How I rise and fall with this journey called life. To ride the waves and enjoy the calm. I found it is okay to try different ways to do things in life and that I am not always right!

This year helped me to realize that it is okay to allow others to have their feelings and what they want to believe in.

I can feel and use my emotions as a guiding light.

That is way more beneficial to be around like-minded people and to allow others to learn the lessons they came here to learn. Freedom for all!

Even in the masks covering I found a freedom others fear they will not get.

Are the mask bad? I would say yes if you allow them to be. It is all in the mind and heart. I heard spirit say over and over, choose your battles.

This year taught me how to follow my heart and let go of those thoughts and actions of others. The only cage we find ourselves in is the cage we create.

“Get yourself out of whatever cage you find yourself in.” 
― John Cage

I found this year a truth and honesty I needed to give myself. There is only one person in this world who can make me feel anything, and that person is me!

“Our intention is to affirm this life, not to bring order out of chaos, nor to suggest improvements in creation, but simply to wake up to the very life we’re living, which is so excellent once one gets one’s mind and desires out of its way and lets it act of its own accord.” 
― John Cage

I look forward to the challenges of the new year, to find my path of least resistance and to stay in my happy thoughts. I know that there will be difficulties, but I look forward to finding the hidden messages! I look forward to conducting my own experiments and creating the world I want.


The division of the season

Here we are in that time of year, where we look to the heavens and look for joy. I find not much joy to see with the world going down. ‘Tis’ the season, but there isn’t much to celebrate.

Wow, this could be a real cry maker, you think?

The one thing I have been discovering in this planademic, is all the gossip, all the negativity, the dis-hearted, and the way we treat each other, is the new FLU of the world.

WOW, what a mess!!

It doesn’t matter what you believe in this made-up drama, the one thing that rings true is we are all being divided and conquered.

We are just voting for one more slave owner, someone to tell us what to do. It doesn’t matter who it is, the ones in power are pretty much all the same. Those in power only care about how many they can control. We have repeated it many times in our history don’t believe me then look it up!!

You and I were born to be free to live, to learn, to love. Controlled and harassed every living day of our lives is not to be the new normal.

As I watch this Shit show, reveal its self, the sadder I became. Yes, became.

Not anymore. I have stepped up and taken back my reactions to this mess of a world.

The first thing I have learned is, I allow others to go down that road of control. It is their choice.

Second thing I have learned, I will not be a part of what they want to create.

Third thing, I am here to live the best life I can and I do not have to be sucked into the drama of those who want drama.

The best thing I have witnessed is that when I allow what others think, say and do, affect me, I become a mess. My emotions are all whacked out and I can not live the happy life I want. NO, life is not perfect, it is messy, yet I am not under rules to absorb the BS of those in this world.

I am learning to watch, to be in this time and place, and to allow others to think and speak what they will. Cool thing is, I do not have to put my two cents in unless I want to and then accept the consequences.

So with the division of the world, it has become apparent that the only way we will ever see the smiles of strangers, the smiles of our children and get back our God given freedom, is to find a way back to a caring society. It is time to hug our families, friends and those we hold dear in our hearts. It is time to step away from the fear they have fed us for many generations.

It is time to stand up and say NO to those who are sick in mind and want us to compile. It is time to take back our states from those who think they are kings and queens. I elected those who are in office to work for us the PEOPLE!!

It is time to quiet fearing the germ and embrace the magnificence of the body! It is time to wake up and stop being lazy.

My son, who is a police officer and in his 30s told me he believed that there is no way we could self govern ourselves. WHY, I asked him? He had no reason. He just said that we needed to control and tell others what to do. How sad this made me feel for his generation. How sad that I taught my son how to be a coward and to be lazy. He is a wonderful man and I love him, but he is lazy for believing we need others to control our world. It is easier to have someone tell you how you should feel, think and be!


I love being free to think, to live, and to wear my emotions on my sleeves. I love to walk in life with a smile, to cry when someone or something hurts me. I love to live! My Step daughter told me her mom told her she needed to stop crying after she had surgery, that crying would keep her from healing. I told her that her mother was wrong. Crying helps the pain, it helps us heal; it is good to cry!

Why are we taught not to live our emotions?

This past year, as I watched my freedom taken away, I really wanted to exit this life. I do not want others to tell me when to go home, what to wear, how to feel!! My depression at being locked down for the entire year was overwhelming. We are living in small concentration camps and being deluded that we are free!! There are those who wear clothes around their faces and look hollow. There are no more smiles, just fear and division. I miss the warm smiles, to talk to a stranger about the weather, to laugh and to be free to be the Being I was born here to be.

This Christmas means so much more to me, it is the last Christmas that might be. Our children are being taught to fear one another, to fear themselves. They are being taught not to hug or cry or be! This Christmas we, the parents, the grandparents have taken the very lives of ourselves and children and thrown them away, because we are too lazy to fight for our God-given rights to walk free among this earth!

There is no germ out there that we have not faced before, God created us to fight off those things that may disrupt our every day journey. Life is about learning how to transverse through the in and outs of what life will throw at us.

My Husband and I got the flu or CV last month. We run a fever, felt a tightness in our chest, had a cough, felt tired. It felt like a mild case of the flu. I have not been sick in nearly 5 years so it was a kind of weird I came down with a cold. But my husband and the guys and gals he works with all came down with this cold. There is no test for the CV, again I say this! The PCR test not meant to pick up this strain of virus. Those very words came from the creator of the CV test (LOOK IT UP) https://bpa-pathology.com/covid19-pcr-tests-are-scientifically-meaningless/ Of course, the independent unreliable Fake Checkers say differently. Check into the fake checkers out there, you all!!

Amazing how the Cold and the Flu is now cured once the CV came to town.

I took care of it with natural medicines from our creator above, four days of staying warm, eating well, staying away from others and I feel amazing. AND get this——> I HAVE LYME DISEASE! Yep, I am one who should, by what the doctors say, should have died from this disease! If I were to believe the mainstream media, I should have been rushed to the hospital and killed off with antibiotics and put on a ventilator, even though the CDC says there is a 99.98% survival rate!!

I feel for those who have died in this time in our world. As those who have were placed on ventilators who were murdered by doctors who are only in this for the money. Those put on pharmaceuticals that have over an arm’s length of side effects. I fear for those who are accepting these kinds of treatments without researching the side effects. I fear for those who will accept from the Main Stream Media that CV is what it is! Where is the medical research on this Virus?? Why am I not able to download the research?


All this information is out there, I have looked into all, plus I use common sense on all this BS as well. But here is the magic of who you are, YOU do not have to believe me! YOU ARE FREE TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT!

My God given Birth right into this world is my passport to freedom, I do not owe anyone anything! I have only myself to watch over. That is the amazing creating creature that is me!! To love others is to allow them the freedom to do what they will. If they do something cruel, then they will suffer the consequences. It all evens out, and I am here to witness and learn from it.

There is nothing in this world you will take back to the other side. You will only have your memories. THAT’S ALL!! So if it were up to me, which it is. I am going to make the best memories I can. And no, I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE, to the BS of those who want to control the masses.

Fear is a choice, educating yourself is a choice, living life by others rules is a choice, dying healthy is a choice, being free is a choice. There is no if’s in or and’s about it!! Life is a choice, who you love is a choice how you react is a choice.

My one Christmas wish this year is that the division that was created by fear mongering by the acceptance of non scientific facts from made up beliefs of others, be defeated and we come back together as the spiritual beings our powers of being meant us to be.

Hope all of you find your way back from the enslavement handed you and you come out on the other side stronger.

United, we are strong!


What the Junk is going on?!

Hey, it’s been a hot minute here. I had taken some time to get away from the MSM and try to find some good things to do. With all the BS going on out there in this world, it just isn’t fun to write much anymore.
Warning: This writing is created from my thoughts only; if you disagree, please shut the page and walk away. Have a great day!
Back to our regular writing.
So here we are at 0ver 200 days into our lockdowns. What bothers me is that most do not care that they have lost their freedom. Of Course, our government wanted a bunch of zombies who will not question what is going on and accept that this is the new norm! Puke face!!
No matter how much time I have put into positive reflections, meditation, not watching the MSM, or how much I work out in my gardens, many in my family are okay with no freedom.
I have lost friends and family because I will not comply and go willingly into the new norm. Nor will I ever. No, I will not accept that Biden won by fair voting, no I will not be masked, no I will not give up my guns, and HELL no, I will not be told that I have to take a vaccine that is not even been tested, and the creators can not be held accountable for those who will be injured.
Oh, and if you get a shot, please stay away! I do not want the sluffing you will be spreading that will be deadlier than this virus!! Just Saying!
This new world order that about 40 percent of you are willing to go with, wow, I am so scared for you. It is not what you think it is. I am grateful for all who are walking and talking and taking the time to fight for your rights!! We, the conspiracy theorist. Yeah, the ones who keep looking at what is being said, fact-checking those who lie to us. Those of us in the dark web. ohhwwwwo oo Those of us who are killing grandma by not wearing a face diaper. Really oh MY GOODNESS, I will not go down that BS line of Horsefly food!!
The funny thing is I have had to put a plow on the front of the Nissan Murano so I can get down my road due to all the bodies. You know all the bodies!!
I have seen people pass away because of complications from the other comorbidity they suffer from. I have seen medical complications kill hundreds. But I do not see all the fake made up deaths from one little virus. I will apologize if someone can prove that the poor or unhealthy, taking several pharmaceuticals who died just of a 99.98% survival rate virus! Promise!!
I have a disease that could kill me at any time. If anyone should be scared, it should be me. But I am not living in fear of a virus; NOOO, I have much more I am worried about. Like, I am dealing with panic attacks, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts because of what I fear my government will do to me. I fear that I will be locked up and told I would never see freedom if I do not take their drug that has not been tested or proven not to kill me. I fear not being able to buy food or go fishing or see my grandchildren ever again. I do fear Biden becoming president!! Shit, I fear Trump becoming president. There is no victory in this. Not one man will set a nation free. ONLY the individual can set our America FREE!!!!
Here is another thing you all: God is a gentle being. He allows us to make mistakes. No matter your religion, your spiritual belief, there is only one person who can create the world you want. YOU!
I have been learning this over and over for the past 200 and counting days. I will do what I have to do to protect, honor, and love me.
I will fight for the rights of others as best as I can. I will try and educate those around me. But when it all comes to the end of the day. There is nothing I will make anyone do, say, or think. I will fight for your freedom to give it away. I am just saying!

I wish all a good day, make the right decisions! I am just saying….

I wish all a good day, make the right decisions! I am just saying….

Connecting with your Chi

In these uncertain times, I have been following my emotions. Of course, they all seem to go in many directions. I ended up having to take some time away from my home. I love my house, and I have tried to make it my vacation spot, but there is something about leaving and going off somewhere. I think you have an appreciation for that which you leave and then come back.
I found myself in a deep depression that I could not meditate or emotionally feel my way out.
I live with someone who looks at everything negatively. It is hard to be around that day in and day out. I know that I am learning how to find my center, find good feelings, and leave them alone to their own choices and feelings. We are all free to do as we please.
Yet, I am one who likes to uplift and is uplifted. I love that feeling!!
Life is supposed to be full of differences that help us send out energies to what we want.
When I found that I could not bounce back into a more positive emotion, I knew I needed to find my Chi!
Life is a messenger from the spiritual realm. I know which messages to follow and which ones to let go.
I know I am not just bones and blood. I am an energetic being here on this Earth plane, learning how to create joyous days.
There is no right or wrong way to experience Earth Life. The one thing we forget is to enjoy the journey. Even though some wish to live in a limited lifestyle, it does not mean it is wrong. It is what they chose to be and do. The only way this can affect me is if I allow for it to affect me. My reaction is my message from my inner being; paying attention to what it is saying is my job.
Life is a journey; there is no end; there is no getting to the end; there are only new beginnings.
I found my energy Chi once more when I took time away from the everyday things I do. I made happier choices. I let go and allowed myself to be happy in what I am doing at that moment in my life.
I found that spirit is always talking to me, still guiding me in the direction of joy.
My natural state of mind is supposed to be calm and peaceful.
I found that the very birds are messengers from the spirit world. All that is living has messages from the other side. Energy is our living fuel. I found that I needed to pay attention to this energy more; energy is in my food, and I take in the very breath of life. We need these energies to survive.
But as with anything in this world, we have to take the time to clean or cleanse it. Energy can become muddled, negative and emotionless.
Have you ever after going to a restaurant come home only to have a terrible tummy ache? You think well it may have been to food, but what if those who handled your food had bad energies or where your food came from had negative energies attached to it. If you were listening to your energies, your spirit would have noticed that you felt a little odd about that food. That it had an off taste or you just knew you shouldn’t have eaten it. How many times do you ignore those feelings??
As I allowed these thoughts to come to the forefront of my mind, it was as if I remembered something ancient. I felt I connected with a deeper understanding of who I am. The powerful me came up to help me find my way out of this depression and uncertainty I was feeling!
It is okay to be healthy, happy, and full of abundance. It is okay to want!! If others tell you that you are selfish, tell them, thank you!!
I remembered who I am again, and all the power of my Chi in me.
You might ask what is Chi? The vital force believed in Taoism and other Chinese thought to be inherent in all things. The unimpeded circulation of Chi and a balance of its negative and positive forms in the body are held to be essential to good health in traditional Chinese medicine.
We are given all the tools to deal with what is happening in this Earth realm; those tools are touch, sight, taste, sound, feelings, emotions, and spirit; one must find his way through life with all these tools.
This life is about you, not about others; we are all here to learn and live, we co-create at times, but we are not responsible for how others deal with this life.
We are all free to chose what we want and what we do not want. That is real freedom. That is connecting with your Chi, not being afraid to be your authentic self, no matter how scary it may be. Life is about mistakes, which are not mistakes; they are life lessons.

“Your work has nothing to do with the problem; it has to do with the lining up with source.” Abraham Hicks


Freedom Forever

The belief that you can heal is real. So much going on in the world right now, it is so essential to get the information out there about you, the creator being able to create healing and sickness. 

The CV has created an energy that has some believing the faulty test that are out there—yes, flawed false positive tests. The information is even on the CDC webpage. The test is junk; they are not made to detect the CV.    

The new CV has become a source of pure evil and has been used against the people to keep them in fear. There is a 99.96 percent chance you will survive this new virus. If you believe there is such a thing. I still have not seen any scientific evidence that there is such a Virus. 

I would like to see the third-party tested and lab reports to replicate this virus. Where is this information posted?? And I do not mean that BS that some people are putting out there has only the opinions of some moron who has a duh gree in stupid and not actual science.  

The truth is this, folks. TRUE Science tries to disprove whatever is in question. Where is the real test, the reviews, the discussions? Why are we only listening to one side of the spectrum??? Why is no one in the media or from the scientific community asking these questions??

The ones who do question this CV hoax are censored or removed from their social platform. WHY? What are they trying to hide from us? Why are we not allowed to question what is going on??

Now we have a state of hysteria, where some are forced or told to get tested, we see that those who do not feel ill will come back with a positive test result. Others will be tested and come back negative. There is no consistency; there is nothing but mistake after mistake. And WHY THE HELL do we need to be tested if we do not feel ILL!??? That is just plain STUPID! I do not need a test to tell me if I feel sick!!!!!!!

With the stress comes the illness. I know that if stressed for a long time, I will get sick. The immunity goes down, and the body has to cause a reaction to get rid of the toxins. The terrain of the body is where our problem lies. There is no other way!! If I eat sugar, white flour, GMO’s, MSG, chemicals that preserve the food I eat, I WILL GET SICK!! The sitting for long periods, watching stressful untrue news, and the list goes on. The body’s terrain becomes broken down, the signals to the cells go haywire, and then the opportunist comes in to take over.  

The body starts to fight off the invaders. 

The body runs a fever. The lungs try to push the invaders out through a cough; the body aches because your extraordinary white blood cells fight off infections from bacteria, viruses, fungi, and other pathogens. YOUR WONDERFUL AMAZING BODY KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO!!

All you have to do is give it the living fuel of clean raw foods and get out of its way.   

This CV is a lie, and the story is made up to control the masses. There is no other proof to me. I have studied and looked and asked the questions. There is no proper scientific evidence to say otherwise. Where is the proof folks!!>?? 

The masks are causing harm and do not work. There is no reason to wear a mask anyway. The body was created to protect itself; it has for eons!!

If I told you that you could talk to your Cells, would you? There is scientific evidence of those who have done so. You can talk yourself into health. Yet we are not taught about this. The way you speak of or to yourself can cause many great things to come about. 

I am talking about quantum physics. What is quantum physics: the best description we have of the nature of the particles that make up matter and the forces with which they interact. Energies are all around us, and the way they interact with our atoms is fantastic. I do no justice on this beautiful theory!

The discoveries I have made are remarkable when it comes to healing the body as a whole. The biggest challenge we as spiritual beings face is the corruption of a few, causing mass hysteria in our world right now!!

Sadly, so many are willing to allow the questions and concerns in which they are feeling to be pushed down internally and ignored. 

Then the dis-ease they feel becomes disease!  

I sometimes feel like I am alone in a world of those who exist. Few want to stand up for their GOD given right to be free and to pursue that freedom! 

I came here to live in diversity, to converse with the world around me. To learn from one another about the differences we all have! Yet, most of those around me have shut down and do not want to participate in this world’s reality. I am saddened that there are none who wish to discuss and cuss about the world we live in. It is easier for them to shut down, hide, and compile! Make no waves, fight for the limitations, go with the flow. How boring your world must be not to have those curiosity discussions, not to ask the questions, to be afraid and repressed. My soul hurts for those who wear the muzzle of shame and walk amongst those who do not believe in their power to create. 

 A belief is only a thought I keep thinking. Abraham Hicks Quotes

By NO means am I demeaning those who know no better. Even the bible states, “Father Forgive them for they know not what they do.” I am not angry at anyone for doing what they do. I will though, fight for them to have the freedom to do as they want. Why would I be judgemental or angry at those who are ignorant and don’t know what they are doing or do not know a better way to do something?  

My wish is to educate those who are doing more harm to themselves and those around them!

Look for good things about where you are, and in your state of appreciation, you lift all self-imposed limitations – and all limitations are self-imposed – and you free yourself for the receiving of wonderful things. Abraham Hicks Quotes

I know the saddest thing about this PLANIDEMIC is that I lost so many friends, and this crap has put a strain on my family. How nasty and mean that we have those few who have managed destroyed so much through ignorance.  

By the way, the other day in one of the searches I was doing, I found that our town had more suicides than CV deaths this year to date. It broke my heart!!

 There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. Abraham Hicks Quotes

I hope to see that others will awake and not be afraid to ask why to discuss with one another. To smile at one another in a store and that our world wakes up and takes down those who want to control the many!!

There isn’t anything that I cannot be or do or have. Abraham Hicks Quotes


The Storms of life

After a rainstorm here where I live, my world looks like it is covered in diamonds. The tiny diamonds of raindrops that hang from the spirit tree in my back yard sparkle as the wind gently shakes the branches.

I have been struggling with a lot of growth in my life again. It seems like my thoughts are always streaming. There is a lot of background noise in my thoughts as they race around in my head. There are very few days where I can hear the earth’s breath.

Even though I can sit for hours and meditate, I still have this hum, and these thoughts keep coming. It can be maddening at times. I have been working on letting go of all the mindless chatter that I have.

It is not easy; there are mornings I wake up with all the thoughts of yesterday and the thoughts for today—the worries of family, money, and the stress of staying alive. There isn’t much I can do but ride the views out and know that they too shall pass like our earth’s storms.

So the other day, as I was bombarded with all these thoughts and mind chatter, I laid down on my bed and started to think about a rainstorm. The way the sky darkens, the heavy feeling, the way the body hurts, the anxiety of the up and coming winds. The first flash of lightning is frightening for some. I use to be one of those who would run for the weather radio and sit and listen in fear as the storm grew louder.

I think that a lot of my PTSD came from living in Alabama for nearly nine years. The constant worry of storms and tornados. It got to where I didn’t sleep if I heard a clap of distant thunder.

Life can be like that for me. I can wake up with the best of thoughts. Yet one little hick-up or adverse action, and I am in a fight or flight response. I can’t get the momentum to stop, and I find myself having stress attacks and fighting with others to keep a sense of calm that I do not even have in myself.

The thought of how the storm arrives had me thinking about all the storms in my mind, that cause storms in my body. How does one let go of all the storminess and allow things to pass by?

My reactions to all that I see, hear, and experience has become a nightmare.

As I lay there, thinking of how the storm grows, and how I am experiencing feels the same way, it had me thinking. The storm does go away. It may rain, hail, lightning, blow, and thunder, but it does go away.

Now that I am back in my home state, I have found I do not worry about a storm like I once did.

I got to thinking about how I enjoy thunderstorms more now. When the sky darkens, I feel an excitement; I listen for the clap of thunder, the way the earth smells before and after a storm. How the birds react, how the tiny diamonds on the grass sparkle.  

The rainbow as the skies clear. 

I laid there, seeing all the storm’s beauty, and I felt the noise in my mind start to fade, the humming, the constant worry. I had no idea how much stress I was carrying in my mind as well as my body. 

The mindless chatter took on a voice of appreciation. I could hear the wind, the birds, and the sharp little clicks of my dog’s toenails on the wooden floor. 

Life can become one great big noise, a storm of fear and negativity. It is up to us to reclaim our Goddess given right to calm and appreciate all that we are here to explore and experience. 

As this realization hit me, I cried. It was a release of pent up anxiety and panic. I found a path to peace. Yes, I will stress, Yes, I will have mindless chatter come and go. The word to focus on is the “GO.” Life will go on, and these moments will come and go. 

It is up to me to decide how I will allow them to affect me. It is up to me to determine how I will react to these moments. 

The first thing is to acknowledge the moments, see them, and recognize when the storm is coming. 

Can you see yourself get past the fear and the stress? Can you see yourself on the other side of the mindless chatter?  

Life is amazing. It is not easy, but it can be fun. Life is my career, my passion, my reason for being here. I found that now when I feel overwhelmed, in pain, fearful, or worried. I think about the rainstorm and how this too shall pass, and the other side of it has beauty and renewal there. 

Reach for the thought that feels better, and allow the natural well-being that is yours. Abraham Hicks Quotes

“You always have the power to choose which thought to follow. Choose the one that feels best so that you place yourself in the vibration of that which you desire.” Abraham Hicks



I lost my little Tinkerbell, a beautiful little dog that was such a part of my life. She lived to be 147 years in dog years. NOT bad, especially when she was sick most of her days on this Earth plane.
Her Death was not pretty, but it was natural. She had a warriors spirit, and she tried very hard to beat cancer that she had. My “little,” as I called her, taught me what life should be like.
I miss her every day. I know she doesn’t suffer, but I am selfish and wish she were here.

Tinkerbell’s last days were mostly her and I sitting outside as she looked around and breathed in the mountain air. I watched as she seemed to see things I could not. She could not sit for very long, her legs hurt, and even though I gave her herbs to control the pain, she would get tired, and I would carry her inside to her favorite pillow.

The echos of my voice come through as I ask what more can I do. I was so lost and wanted so much to save Tinkerbell, all my knowledge in Holistic care and herbalism I used. I took her to the vet to have them say there was nothing they could do. I cried and screamed and tried everything I could find from the God-given medicine chest of the herbal world. I gave Reiki treatments and prayed. I even thought about clapping my hands like when Peter-pan asked everyone to say Tinkerbell.

Her last day, she would get out of breath, just walking. I could not handle it anymore, and that night as the first star shone in the sky, I said: Star Bright, Starlight, First star I see tonight, I wish I may I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight. I asked that she go to heaven that night…

She left that night being held and loved; it is fitting that we stood by my spirit tree. She wore a little sweater, and I wrapped her in a white towel. I laid her on her soft pillow and watched her. All night long, I kept checking on her as she laid there so peacefully! I pet her as I walked by and talked to her. My Tinkerbell looked so relaxed for the first time in many days. She was asleep and not suffering.

She and I were always together, and I joked to others that she was my little Franken weenie. She was born into this world sick. I made sure that her good days were the best, and when she was ill, she and I stayed up and healed.

I haven’t cried until today. I haven’t wanted to, and it was easier to clean the house and stay busy. But I wanted to write about her and put this chapter in my book.

I find myself listening for her, looking for her, I am lost not caring for her. For so long, she and I had been together, and now she is gone.

This week I have tried to sit down and morn, I do not want to feel the loss I do not want to be without caring for her. I am at a loss…

Some days are better than others, but I think those days when I think things are better are when I find something else to occupy my time.

The ghosts of the past come through at night when you are alone in the quiet. The movie of those times you laughed and cried, to see her as a puppy, stealing pink underwear and running away so happy those times race across. Tinkerbell was a four-wheeling rider, she loved to stand on a bodyboard in the pool, and I swear she could talk. When you remember what they did and what you did, and the fun of reliving it over and over.

She was my barracuda, she was not a lovey, but Tink was so fun to have around and watch, she reminded me of a cat, Tink loved to sit with you and sleep in the bed, but she was not a cuddle me dog.

I will never forget her, and she will always be beside me as I go through my day.

With time, I know it will become less painful, not better, but the pain will be less harsh. We are not meant to forget, but remember the good times the fun times and the way it was meant to be.

Tinkerbell was one of my favorite chapters in this book called my life, and this is just one of the many chapters I have lived.

In loving memory of my Tinkerbell Lita Rita Montoya Barracuda,
I will never forget you Until we meet again here is seeing you in my dreams!


Someone to save me

A constant theme in this CV Hoax and it has me very concerned about our world.  Why are there so many people out there looking for a savior?  Some think that once this election is over, all will be well.  How do you figure?  All who wear a mask in the thought that it will save someone else’s life, how so?? How can so many walk around in the dark?

No savior is coming outside of yourself!  You are the savior!

There is so much information out there, is that why so many walk in the dark looking for that one person or entity that will save them? How can you be so blind?  The information that flows to you is only for you.  It is to help you grow in knowledge, those who seek the teacher will be ready for the teachings!

I had a vision this morning…  I walked through fire, death, and had wave after wave of fear hit me.  I saw the light, it was bright and filled my heart with hope, joy, and love. I watched as the light turned into a glowing white hand a white brighter than snow on a sunny day. This white hand reached out for me.  I kept walking through death and destruction, following this brilliant white hand.  As I walked and concentrated on this hand of light, I got to noticed that I had seen this hand before. I could see that this glowing hand had the same kind of rings I wear.  I stopped and pondered what could this mean, I could see all the death and destruction start to crumble away, leaving me on a cliff of ragged rocks.  There was nothing out there just dark and me high up on this peak of rough stone.

Then the glow of the hand grew, all around me, I could see, and I found that I was not up high at all. I was just standing on a ragged old rock.   I stepped down and watched as the light became a form, and I knew that it was female, and I could feel I recognized her.  As she walked closer, it was as if I came upon a brightly lite mirror.  I looked away, and all was aglow with bright white light, I turned back towards this person, and she smiled at me.

IT WAS ME!  I was standing facing me!  HOW could this be?  I thought it would have been an angel or Spirit its’ self.  But no… IT WAS ME!!

The message hit me hard!  I am my own savior; I am the only one who can change my fate.  I am the only one who can help me through this destruction.  I have the power to react, and how I react will detail my choices for the day.  I am more than capable of choosing how I want to respond to what is outside of me.

I have the power to create, but I need to build from within, it is by how I react to those things around me that will bring to me what I want.  If I create from a place of fear, then I will create panic for that day.  It is up to me to create from a place of peace, joy, and love.   I know that what I want is out there I just have to align with it and allow it to come into my physical space.  I want my world to be filled with health, wealth, and love.  I want to see those around me find their way in this world.

I woke to a song  on my Alexa from the group Skillet the song is called “Victorious.”  Talk about bringing a message home.

High above it all (above it all)
Victorious, victorious
Far too long I’ve grown (far too long)
In hopelessness, I’m over this
Don’t give up on me (don’t give up on me)
Tell me you believe (tell me you believe)
I can’t face it all (face it all)
Victorious, victorious.”

It got me to thinking;

We are here to learn, to live, and to be victorious.

Why do so many crumble when life becomes difficult? The answer is so apparent, we are taught that we do not matter and that we are powerless and must rely on others to make things better.  It is so sad, but for generations, we have been conditioned to think we are nothing without outside interference. How your day will go is by how you react to all that is going on around you.  How do you want to react when life is challenging you?

I was talking to my sister the other night, she and I had a debate about the mask, now I am not going to tell anyone what they should do, but I am going to put out there some thinking beyond the box.  There is no reason to have a fight about a mask, but we do need to have discussions about why we are being forced to wear one. Fear takes away your GOD given power! If I got angry and started to fight with her, I would have only walked away mad, depressed, hurt.  I would have missed out on having a great discussion.  I stepped back from my want to be right and listened to her fears and concerns.  I could see where she was coming from.  I did not agree, but that was okay.  I love her, and she is my sister.  I respect where she comes from.  She has to learn in her own time, and if I am mistaken, I will acknowledge that!

There is no way I am going to fear a corrupt government. The very few up in office are greedy and vengeful, they do not matter to me.  I watch as they crumble from the deception they are creating. It does not affect me because I chose it not to change me.  I create what I want, they do not matter to me. SO I create the day I want.  I will not allow those outside forces to derail me in creating my perfect day. I base my decisions on what I want and create my own path to where I want to go.  There are always choices!!  It is all in how you react to what is going on around you!

The only person or Spirit or entity that is going to save us is ourselves.  There is no one man, sprit, or savior out there.  The Spirit gives us the power and the strength to defeat our enemies.  We are never alone. The higher self knows where and what we need to do.  It is up to us to get out of the way and allow ourselves to hear the messages!

I woke from my vision, victorious!! I woke with new energy coursing through my mind and my body.  I have only to reach inside for my own God-given power and move those mountains.  We have to reach deep and find that unique gift of Spirit!! You are a creator, what are you going to create today?

Ohh, by the way, if you find yourself reacting negatively, stop what you are doing, get up, walk away, and go find some joy.  Grab your dog, your children, your loves, and give them a huge reason to be happy for the day.  Give them a piece of shining self! It helps bring in all you want to create.

Remember, you create from a joyful place, not from a fear-based place!

“The measure of choosing well is whether a man likes and finds good in what he has chosen.” Charles Lamb


Have you ever…

I have a couple sources I follow for news that is happening in the world.  I have followed some for years, others just a couple of months.  Yet, the other day as I was watching some of those whom I follow, I noticed a pattern.  They all seem to be stuck in a holding pattern of negativity.  Just one seemed to realize this and has moved on to a more positive platform.

It got me to thinking. Is it that drama the excitement the horror that keeps people in a limited thought place?  Are there those who are meant to keep repeating the same old thing over and over, and is that why some of us move on?

In my spiritual growth, I have found out that if you want to see a change, you have to allow that change to come.  It is best when you can imagine how you want it to turn out.  Kind of vague there… okay an example.  If I want to see the mask go away, I need to imagine and create what I want.  I have not worn a mask, and I will not wear a mask.  I educate myself, so I can create what I want.

If you do nothing and keep bringing in the same things, you will not see a change, oh the change may come, but it will look as if it just happen by chance.  NOPE, that is not how creating works.  The only reason you may be a part of the change is that you happen to fall into that energy that was created.  That is what some would call fate.  Fate is when someone else created a source of energy that can change the direction of a circumstance.   If you are walking around in a fate kind of way, you may happen across these energies and call them a miracle.  I know there will be some who will disagree, but I would refer you to quantum physics.

I use quantum physics in homeopathic medicines.  It is the energy of the plant and mineral that is used in healing.  We are energy, and we create what we see.

I have witnessed this for years this kind of creating.  As I practice these ways in which I can create anything I want into my life, it still thrills me to no end.  Life is truly a miraculous gift!

So … back to what I was saying.  Those who I have been watching and listening to seem to have fallen into a pit of despair.  It is like time left them behind.  I have moved on and am seeing significant changes in the world, where I see the progress they see the mirror image and can not break free from its’ embrace.  I have gotten to the point where I do not want to watch them anymore and have found other things to do.  I do not need to hear what they have to say.  The things I want to hear are coming through clearly in different ways.

It is all about what you do want and not what you do not want.  If you want to create a perfect day, you have to let go of the control of thinking that makes you feel like you have to be something you once thought you had to be.  Confusing huh.  Let me see if I can make this simpler. There was a time when your parent or spouse would be able to tell you what you should do or care about, but there came a time when you broke free from that limited thought and started to think for yourself.  You began to see your own individuality and started to do what felt right to you.  Not that we do not agree with others on somethings, but you remembered who you are and started to make up your own mind in what you wanted to do.

Spirit reminds me on those hard days where it looks like the world will never get better, to view, and feel but do not absorb.  I am to witness but not allow myself to become a part of something that takes my power to create away.  If I step back and look at what I am creating, I find that I do not need to worry about what others are doing.  It is up to me to put out there the best day I can have.  I want to create a loving, peaceful, free world. I can’t have that if I am creating from a place of fear, hate, and conformity.  NO ONE CAN!!

I love to create a fun, relaxing day, and when I wake up and do that, I get the most fantastic day.  I get so much done; I find delights in the smallest things, I find I create everything I want and more.  It takes getting out of your mind and then getting out of your way.  Imagination is the most powerful tool you can use.  Imagine what you want to see, create from that place.  Sit and listen to the birds, watch the rabbits, play with the clouds.

Here is a great way to meditate: Lie on the grass or a lounge chair, pick a small cloud in the sky. Lift your hand and using your pointer finger and thumb act like you are stretching that cloud, see it grow and become more significant, or try and shrink it and make it disappear.  It is so relaxing, and you stop your monkey mind.   It helps you become grounded and centered.  It enables you to let go of the mindless chatter.  I love to do this in the evening when it starts to cool down, and I can look into the sky and not burn my retinas out of my head.  LOL

It is all about becoming the creator you are, allowing others to leave and come into your life as they should.  It is about letting go of the old thinking and remembering the creator you are.  You came here to live, learn, witness, remember, and create.   There is much more out there than what is on your phone or TV.  It is all about being able to be the best spiritual being you came here to be and experience.  You knew you would face challenges, you knew you would find your way back to who you are, you knew you would be the best creator you can be, and you knew that you would enjoy every moment.  Now that being said, those things may not happen for some.  It is okay; we all learn in different ways, but remember, no one can stand in your way unless you allow them too!

SO… here’s to the old and off to the new!

“Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.” Charles Lamb


I am a Prisoner of war

I was pretty mad yesterday, in fact, I am still angry and disappointed in the way the world is acting.  I also know I am not the only one.  This shit is like a death, there is a wide range of emotions one goes through.  Yesterday I was at the I am so angry, and I can’t believe this shit is happening.  The day before was I am tired and depressed.  It is a roller coaster of emotions that I try really hard to just let it play out.

My son is a LEO, he is suffering from depression. I am scared for him.  He has always wanted to be a LEO, his heart is enormous, and he only wants to help educate and protect and serve.  Yet with all the illegal riots, you know the ones, where the Democrats allow others to rape, pillage, and kill without any recourse!! He has to watch his back at all times, afraid someone will stab him in the back.  He has been shot at and called filthy names, all in the name of ignorance from those who have no clue what they are saying nor what they truly stand for.

Life is a total riot these days, you know the rape, kill, segregate, call names, mask shame, you know the new normal.  There is only hate, and those who disagree with all this BS stay silent and comply. 😦

I do my part I say no to the mask and now have been locked down, never to shop freely, or fly without strangulation.  I am a prisoner of war!

I am no longer allowed to leave my house without being muzzled, or shamed into wearing one, even though I have a medical condition.  I am hated for the asking why. I am not allowed to be an individual without someone losing their shit about why I am not complying with the lies that are being propagated on tv every 10 seconds!! I am an enemy because I will not belong to those who worship scientism from Fauci or Kill Bill Gates!  I do not drink the pharmaceutical kool-aid.  I am a radical. I am undesirable. I am a thorn in the side of a corrupt government.   I can not practice natural medicine or cure others without losing my freedom!  I am a prisoner of war!!

It is okay though I will go down in history as a rebel with a cause, I will be remembered as one of those who said what I felt, that educated as many as I could.  I will be remembered.

Yet, as I see these young people who have no idea that just wearing the mask, you have given your rights away.  You have complied, and you will lose everything.  You are not saving people, you are not keeping grandma, grandpa, or anyone safe.  You kill thousands, you are signing their death warrant.  You who comply are the ones who are putting me in lockdown, you the very people who wear the mask, are the ones who have made me a prisoner of war!

How can you be so unkind, how can you be so selfish?!  You shame those who will not give up their freedom without a fight.  You call for defunding the police; you listen to corruption and make it your new laws to take the very freedom so many have fought for.  How can you be so cold-hearted?

You put your faith in a new religion, one based on lies, misinformation, deceit, and wonder why I will not follow.  Those of you who copy and past the lies of nonscience calling it science.  You who will allow them to take your kids and inject them with toxins. You who will enable them to kill the elderly in the very prisons you put them in because they are so sick from the pharmaceuticals you feed them every day.  How proud you must feel!! Most of you who get any tv time are paid actors in this hoax, oh, don’t be so modest, you know you are!

Today my emotion is one of laughter, I laugh at those who think that any of this is right, who spout off that they know the science and know that what they copied and pasted is right.  Sheesh, you know you are just one big joke! I laugh, for I can not feel sorry for those who willingly sacrifice their very soul—you who have sold your soul to those who will kill you in the end.

If you have made it this far in this blog, I feel there is still hope.  I am a spirit having a human experience.  I do not fear death, I fear for those who give away the freedom to experience, to be, to create, to be more than the rinse and repeat daily zombies!

Our kids are suffering, they are prisoners of this war.  What are you going to do about that?  Nothing?? How about you tell them that there is hope, that they can say no, and show them by example how to stand up and take back their freedom!  It is time to look at our children our grandchildren and show them that:  Psalms 23

Jesus took the child onto his lap and said protect the children.  What the hell are you waiting for??!! Are we not all children of God?  You who preach the Lord is your Shepard.  Why do you not follow him then?

I fear no man, I fear not my  God/Goddess. I fear only for those who worship the occult called government.

Take off the mask of desire, the veil of deceit, the cover of conformity, stand up for the God-given rights you were born with!!

Famous words to live by From Rafiki: “Change is good.”

“You see, he lives in you.”

“Everybody is somebody, even a nobody.”

“It’s the Circle of Life, and it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love, ’til we find our place on the path unwinding.”

“It is time.”

It is time to awaken the Spirit that lives in you.  You are a part of a grander path then the mundane rinse and repeat life you have been taught to be a part of.  It is time to stand up for what you came here to experience.  You came here to change, to live, to experience to be.  You came here to ask why to except nothing but the betterment in your own creation called life. You will not accept the disappointment of a conformity society.

Awaken and be.

Ephesians 5:14; for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

“Awake, O sleeper,
    and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

It is time to look to the light within.

The Whole Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.

God/Goddess did not put us here to sit on our laurels and cry to them but gave us the very means to destroy our enemies.  Your words to yourself are compelling; your prayers are mighty. So I ask you, what are you saying to yourself, and are your prayers giving you the power that you inherently came here with?

It is time to ask and receive what your God-given rights are. Take back your power and stand up to the evil of this time.   It is time to rejoice in the power you have and can use to destroy your enemies.  I do not want to be a by-product of those who willingly sit by and allow themselves to be destroyed over propaganda.

As I write this I awaken even more resolve to be free, no I was mistaken when I said I was a prisoner of war, I am a spiritual warrior here to save myself, and in saving myself, I shall lead others to save themselves.

It is time to scream out: I will break the chains of restraint; no longer will I play in your game of evil, and I will not be a prisoner of your war! I will die free and loved. I will show my children and my grandchildren that WE THE PEOPLE ARE STRONG!! We will take back our lives from the government, we will calm those who do what they do in ignorance.  We will remove the government out of our churches, medical health, school, and family lives! We will take back our world and make it the loving, strong place that God/Goddess intended for it to be.