In the Darkness

I can hear her, she calls to me from the Darkness.

I can see her as she sits in the Darkness,

I can feel her loneliness in the Darkness.

I can feel her heart breaking in the Darkness.

I can hear her screams of pain in the Darkness.

Yet no matter how hard I run, I can not reach her in the Darkness.

I call to her, and yet I can not find her in the Darkness.

I can feel the fear, anxiety and panic that has her overwhelmed in the Darkness.

The Darkness is deep and vast; it consumes and devours faith, hope, and Love.

I can hear her cries and I can feel her fear.

I am at my wits’ end! Where can she be?

I need to get to her but when I think I am close; the Darkness consumes my progress once more!

I am desperate to find her in the Darkness! She cries out my name, I can hear her from the Darkness. Is this just a Game??

My progress is like a long hallway and the floor moves in the opposite direction.

I can hear her, I can sense her, I can feel her so near.

I am desperate I can not handle being away from her; I need to find her, I can take no more.

I wake up lonely, living in a void of despair, I am trapped in the Darkness and I am so scared.

I can’t live without her, I know I lost her so long ago; I need her back I can’t go on; I feel it in my soul.

I am lost without her; I hear her cries from the Darkness; I feel it connects us, but I don’t know how to reach her.

I’ve look in every nook and cranny in my shadowy world, I have meditated till I can not anymore.

I scream and cry and run as fast as I can, yet still no progress to be at hand.

I need her; I know this deeply, yet I still can not find her.

Am I missing something what more can I do, I have called back to her but I fear there is nothing I can do.

It is there in the Darkness I fear my answer is there.

Can it be?

No, it can’t be.

Am I the one lost in the Darkness?



To find a like mind? Priceless!

Emerging From The Dark Night

Why do we continue to live

in so much fear?

Why is it that love feels too scary

for us to draw near to?

Why buy into the lies

and focus on the cost

instead of opening our hearts and souls

wide to love?

There is an ache I feel

deep inside

when the unreal dominates so much of our lives

When did we forget

to look for the joy?

To delight in the moment?

Open your eyes to this day

find a chink of light

even if its dark

draw comfort from something warm inside of you

that lights a fire of encouragement

from dying embers.

Do not stay all alone inside

listening to sad songs

life can be so much better

than this

love is so close by

only waiting for us

to recognise it

all of nature is breathing it

bearing witness to it

open your eyes

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As simple as speaking to Spirit

One thing I can say for the past year, is that I have found it super simple to stay in touch with the spirit realm. AKA Home!

It is strange to say out loud to others how I hear from spirit that this or that is going to happen.

And things happen. I get some sideways glances and those nervous little laughs. I really don’t mind, but it has me feeling alone in this world.

The funny thing to me is I hear spirit more when I am vacuuming or doing something. I asked Spirit why, spirit told me it was because I get out of my mind and can hear them easier. As they explained (and yes, there is more than one) but I pretty much only hear a female voice.

No, I do not have any mental disorders that I know of.

As Spirit has told me, we can communicate with them anytime we want. And no, they do not vibrate at a higher level, which is supposed to make it harder for them to communicate with us. They are always talking to us. They use many ways to reach out to us. It is the lowly human that has a hard time getting out of their limited teaching and thinking. Only the human vibrated at a low energy.

Life here on this Earth plane is far from fair, nor does it give us all that we desire. Life is about making mistakes, taking risks and finding that inner peace, with all that is happening around us. NOT AN EASY FEAT!

There is no one golden rule, there are many ways we came to live this lifetime, I have yet to find out why we have to suffer so much. I have asked, and the answer is, because you wanted to experience everything.

Now I have a hard time thinking I planned to come down here, acquired a disease and live with all the limitations that come with it. But I will have to check up on that once I get back home.

The teaching of this world makes it hard for us to find that inner voice that is there to guide us. There is not one book out there that tells us, we are the most powerful being in this world. That there is not one ruler out there that we must obey! There is no manual that tells us it is okay to have a quiet conversation in our head, that those emotions we have are our internal compass and that we are all connected to one source. NOT one and I have LOOKED!!

As spirit has shown me through my trails and tribulations, I am the only one who can improve my life, that may take a different thought or losing a negative learned thought! Life is not commanded by a being who judges you on how well you do rules and regulations. Sorry to burst the bubble, but you are the only one who holds yourself accountable to stupid things. And yes, they are stupid when you examine the rules you follow closer and with an open mind.

My sister-in-law has cancer, she has fought hard and long to get over the medical damage she has undergone. The only reason this poor lady has lasted as long as she has, is her will to survive. She has survived all the medical intervention, finding out that they were hurting her more than helping her. Most of us learn this the hard way as well.

One day she was talking about how God was angry at her. He had helped her through one bout of cancer to only smite here when it came back. I asked spirit why would a all knowing all loving god be so ugly to bless then take away that blessing? Spirit said there is no such law and to feel in my heart that my sister-in-law was under a limited thought about where she came from. They taught her to fear, and that if she somehow displeased her god, he would punish her.

Sprit has shown me that even in the ugliest times of this world, it is man who allows himself to be harassed, frightened and manipulated into doing things that make him sad, depressed and angry.

I have fallen into these fearful times; I have wished to leave this earth for I was so scared of the rumors and the harassment that I seen playing out on MSM (Main stream media) and SM (Social Media). If I stopped watching the TV news or The F.U. BOOK, I fell better instantly and I stop panicking.

How awful are those who are on a power trip and want to control those who they look down upon? Those men and women who we voted in to work for the betterment of our world for us. See, we are the ones to blame for the unlawful and ugliness. We the people have given our rights away and allow the ugly and hateful to run our country under the guise that we need to be ruled. Most who are in power are mentally ill, I feel, and do not know who they truly are. The blind leading the blind.

I have walked through that valley of shadows, those who are mindlessly manipulated and are only allowed to speak when spoken to or to follow the herd of lost souls.

It is a coming time, one of big changes, and there will be those who will make it and there will be those who won’t. It is up to the individual to walk the path that they feel most comfortable with. It is up to them to open themselves up to their truth.

I asked Spirit the other day what will happen now as I see people turning on brother, sister, mother, father, family, and friends? Spirit told me it will become worse, that it will only affect those who need it. That there are those of us who came to witness and be here in these changing times.

Spirit told me to watch and listen, to be here but do not absorb. To watch where I get my information from and to trust nothing from outside myself. That many wonderful changes are happening and all will work out for the best, but there will be losses, and those will be because that was their choice.

Life moves in and out like the ocean, it moves and flows like a river; it is gentle and hard like the wind. I came here to be tested, to find my way to a peaceful, loving place no matter what may happen around me. It gave me the emotions to find all I need to heal, love, live and become. Spirit is always talking, showing and helping me make the best decisions. I only have to get out of the outside world and focus on what is in my heart.

This post will find the right people who need to hear this message, and some will find this post unsettling. Spirit would say, stop, feel the words, and then decide on what your heart is telling you…


What I learned in the year 2020

They say hindsight is 2020, and to tell you the truth it is. What has my heart learned in 2020?

That there is nothing outside of you that matters. That you can get sucked up in the BS when you think you need to be a part of something, or anything.

I have learned that anything that makes me fearful, upset, angry, depressed or any other negative feeling is definitely not the right path for me. It drew me into a lot of things that did not need me to be there, but I think I wanted to be a part of it for the human aspect of it. We all want to feel like we belong.

So after being fear driven, scared and jumping on the train of despair. I tried out a way to deal with the drama going on around me. I did not do well with the thought of a face mask; I panic and feel like I am drowning. I can wear a face shield when I go out four wheeling. So I was like, why can I wear a face shield for hours at a time but have such a fit over a mask in a store?

I have been watching others on Social media that have shown how devastating the face mask can be. There are types of mask that worn wrong or that are filthy can cause harm. Plastic face mask is not your friend, and most of those blue free from the store mask are very toxic.

I wear a cotton face shield when out riding; they breathe, which in return help me breathe. So there is the smart way of wearing a mask, of course.

I don’t know how many people I’ve seen, walk around with a filthy mask on, that I have witnessed every time I go out. Yes, I think we all can agree, that will cause you to get sick.

So back to my experiment. After I got away from the fear mongering of the Main Stream Media and Social Media. I conducted my experiment.

Little back ground here; I got kicked out of Natural Grocers for not wanting to wearing a mask. I have no idea why they went nazi. I mean, their rent a-cops are pretty nasty and will cause a scene. I have seen how nasty they can be first hand.

So I tried to do their Instacart, but I kept getting really nasty food and I was paying extra for garbage food. I tried three times and was very put off because just about anyone with a car can shop for you and drive up to your home. NOT A SAFE THING TO DO!!

So here I am pissed off, I want to go shopping for my food; I want to pick out my produce and I want to be free to go in and not be harassed by men and women who think they are above the law.

What to do?

I decided enough was enough and figured I would become the enemy in disguise. The Trojan horse, the military that dressed in the uniforms of their enemies. I would go incognito!

I entered the enemy’s lair in a mask. Of course I found one very sheer but not too sheer, very comfortable and breathable. I walked in and did my shopping.

Natural grocers had two guards of delusion stationed at the front door, and I had such a sense of power as I walked by and smiled at having entered disguised. I walked under their radar; I was free to move around and get all the goodies, and no one could say one thing about it.

I enjoyed the freedom to move around and take my time to shop and find my treasures! And the delusional couldn’t say one thing to me. How empowering! Now remember, this is my active imagination having fun with the fear I had been creating for some time.

Second stop was to Sam’s Club, where they were not as bad in the mindset of socialism. There were many who had the mask but did not wear them in a nazi capacity! There were no uniform morons to stand there and act as if they were above the constitutional freedom given to every born individual. Very nice! Again, pleasantly surprised and had a great shopping trip.

It was surprising how friendly people were to one another when a mask was worn. I could take and pursue a negative thought about these interactions, but I chose not to go that route. What I found in a positive light is that even with the nonsense of what is going on, you can change the rules when interacting with those who follow anything or anyone blindly. I was teaching myself how to deal with those things that bother me.

I had accomplished my goal, and I walked through the valley of the shadows and I came out with a new outlook on this crazy time.

2020 has shown me that there is absolutely nothing outside of me I should fear. The heart is the only thing I should listen to.

The main stream media and social media is the opinion of men and women. I found that these thoughts and actions others are doing are only out there so I can feel my way to the right mindset for me. Not from absorbing that which causes me some kind of stress or panic.

I am as guilty as the rest; they sucked me into the drama and the fear, and I reacted to this in a way that was not good for me. In spirit, mentally and physically, it was very hard on me. I felt despair and fear! I became very depressed and withdrew from life.

But when I got away from the drama and the fear mongering, I found peace and I really put into practice how to not absorb that which was not meant for me.

I realize that this world is not about fairness, in fact even with all the beauty there is a hell here and it can consume you. This place is one that you will never find true peace unless it lives in yourself. That this world is backwards in so many ways. There is no getting it all figured out, in fact, if you think you have you are so misguided. There will always be challenges, there is no other way. I came to this world to learn and then get the heck out!

This year showed me I only have me and spirit, that there is no wrong or right way, there is only finding your way back to being happy. How I rise and fall with this journey called life. To ride the waves and enjoy the calm. I found it is okay to try different ways to do things in life and that I am not always right!

This year helped me to realize that it is okay to allow others to have their feelings and what they want to believe in.

I can feel and use my emotions as a guiding light.

That is way more beneficial to be around like-minded people and to allow others to learn the lessons they came here to learn. Freedom for all!

Even in the masks covering I found a freedom others fear they will not get.

Are the mask bad? I would say yes if you allow them to be. It is all in the mind and heart. I heard spirit say over and over, choose your battles.

This year taught me how to follow my heart and let go of those thoughts and actions of others. The only cage we find ourselves in is the cage we create.

“Get yourself out of whatever cage you find yourself in.” 
― John Cage

I found this year a truth and honesty I needed to give myself. There is only one person in this world who can make me feel anything, and that person is me!

“Our intention is to affirm this life, not to bring order out of chaos, nor to suggest improvements in creation, but simply to wake up to the very life we’re living, which is so excellent once one gets one’s mind and desires out of its way and lets it act of its own accord.” 
― John Cage

I look forward to the challenges of the new year, to find my path of least resistance and to stay in my happy thoughts. I know that there will be difficulties, but I look forward to finding the hidden messages! I look forward to conducting my own experiments and creating the world I want.


The division of the season

Here we are in that time of year, where we look to the heavens and look for joy. I find not much joy to see with the world going down. ‘Tis’ the season, but there isn’t much to celebrate.

Wow, this could be a real cry maker, you think?

The one thing I have been discovering in this planademic, is all the gossip, all the negativity, the dis-hearted, and the way we treat each other, is the new FLU of the world.

WOW, what a mess!!

It doesn’t matter what you believe in this made-up drama, the one thing that rings true is we are all being divided and conquered.

We are just voting for one more slave owner, someone to tell us what to do. It doesn’t matter who it is, the ones in power are pretty much all the same. Those in power only care about how many they can control. We have repeated it many times in our history don’t believe me then look it up!!

You and I were born to be free to live, to learn, to love. Controlled and harassed every living day of our lives is not to be the new normal.

As I watch this Shit show, reveal its self, the sadder I became. Yes, became.

Not anymore. I have stepped up and taken back my reactions to this mess of a world.

The first thing I have learned is, I allow others to go down that road of control. It is their choice.

Second thing I have learned, I will not be a part of what they want to create.

Third thing, I am here to live the best life I can and I do not have to be sucked into the drama of those who want drama.

The best thing I have witnessed is that when I allow what others think, say and do, affect me, I become a mess. My emotions are all whacked out and I can not live the happy life I want. NO, life is not perfect, it is messy, yet I am not under rules to absorb the BS of those in this world.

I am learning to watch, to be in this time and place, and to allow others to think and speak what they will. Cool thing is, I do not have to put my two cents in unless I want to and then accept the consequences.

So with the division of the world, it has become apparent that the only way we will ever see the smiles of strangers, the smiles of our children and get back our God given freedom, is to find a way back to a caring society. It is time to hug our families, friends and those we hold dear in our hearts. It is time to step away from the fear they have fed us for many generations.

It is time to stand up and say NO to those who are sick in mind and want us to compile. It is time to take back our states from those who think they are kings and queens. I elected those who are in office to work for us the PEOPLE!!

It is time to quiet fearing the germ and embrace the magnificence of the body! It is time to wake up and stop being lazy.

My son, who is a police officer and in his 30s told me he believed that there is no way we could self govern ourselves. WHY, I asked him? He had no reason. He just said that we needed to control and tell others what to do. How sad this made me feel for his generation. How sad that I taught my son how to be a coward and to be lazy. He is a wonderful man and I love him, but he is lazy for believing we need others to control our world. It is easier to have someone tell you how you should feel, think and be!


I love being free to think, to live, and to wear my emotions on my sleeves. I love to walk in life with a smile, to cry when someone or something hurts me. I love to live! My Step daughter told me her mom told her she needed to stop crying after she had surgery, that crying would keep her from healing. I told her that her mother was wrong. Crying helps the pain, it helps us heal; it is good to cry!

Why are we taught not to live our emotions?

This past year, as I watched my freedom taken away, I really wanted to exit this life. I do not want others to tell me when to go home, what to wear, how to feel!! My depression at being locked down for the entire year was overwhelming. We are living in small concentration camps and being deluded that we are free!! There are those who wear clothes around their faces and look hollow. There are no more smiles, just fear and division. I miss the warm smiles, to talk to a stranger about the weather, to laugh and to be free to be the Being I was born here to be.

This Christmas means so much more to me, it is the last Christmas that might be. Our children are being taught to fear one another, to fear themselves. They are being taught not to hug or cry or be! This Christmas we, the parents, the grandparents have taken the very lives of ourselves and children and thrown them away, because we are too lazy to fight for our God-given rights to walk free among this earth!

There is no germ out there that we have not faced before, God created us to fight off those things that may disrupt our every day journey. Life is about learning how to transverse through the in and outs of what life will throw at us.

My Husband and I got the flu or CV last month. We run a fever, felt a tightness in our chest, had a cough, felt tired. It felt like a mild case of the flu. I have not been sick in nearly 5 years so it was a kind of weird I came down with a cold. But my husband and the guys and gals he works with all came down with this cold. There is no test for the CV, again I say this! The PCR test not meant to pick up this strain of virus. Those very words came from the creator of the CV test (LOOK IT UP) Of course, the independent unreliable Fake Checkers say differently. Check into the fake checkers out there, you all!!

Amazing how the Cold and the Flu is now cured once the CV came to town.

I took care of it with natural medicines from our creator above, four days of staying warm, eating well, staying away from others and I feel amazing. AND get this——> I HAVE LYME DISEASE! Yep, I am one who should, by what the doctors say, should have died from this disease! If I were to believe the mainstream media, I should have been rushed to the hospital and killed off with antibiotics and put on a ventilator, even though the CDC says there is a 99.98% survival rate!!

I feel for those who have died in this time in our world. As those who have were placed on ventilators who were murdered by doctors who are only in this for the money. Those put on pharmaceuticals that have over an arm’s length of side effects. I fear for those who are accepting these kinds of treatments without researching the side effects. I fear for those who will accept from the Main Stream Media that CV is what it is! Where is the medical research on this Virus?? Why am I not able to download the research?


All this information is out there, I have looked into all, plus I use common sense on all this BS as well. But here is the magic of who you are, YOU do not have to believe me! YOU ARE FREE TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT!

My God given Birth right into this world is my passport to freedom, I do not owe anyone anything! I have only myself to watch over. That is the amazing creating creature that is me!! To love others is to allow them the freedom to do what they will. If they do something cruel, then they will suffer the consequences. It all evens out, and I am here to witness and learn from it.

There is nothing in this world you will take back to the other side. You will only have your memories. THAT’S ALL!! So if it were up to me, which it is. I am going to make the best memories I can. And no, I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE, to the BS of those who want to control the masses.

Fear is a choice, educating yourself is a choice, living life by others rules is a choice, dying healthy is a choice, being free is a choice. There is no if’s in or and’s about it!! Life is a choice, who you love is a choice how you react is a choice.

My one Christmas wish this year is that the division that was created by fear mongering by the acceptance of non scientific facts from made up beliefs of others, be defeated and we come back together as the spiritual beings our powers of being meant us to be.

Hope all of you find your way back from the enslavement handed you and you come out on the other side stronger.

United, we are strong!


What the Junk is going on?!

Hey, it’s been a hot minute here. I had taken some time to get away from the MSM and try to find some good things to do. With all the BS going on out there in this world, it just isn’t fun to write much anymore.
Warning: This writing is created from my thoughts only; if you disagree, please shut the page and walk away. Have a great day!
Back to our regular writing.
So here we are at 0ver 200 days into our lockdowns. What bothers me is that most do not care that they have lost their freedom. Of Course, our government wanted a bunch of zombies who will not question what is going on and accept that this is the new norm! Puke face!!
No matter how much time I have put into positive reflections, meditation, not watching the MSM, or how much I work out in my gardens, many in my family are okay with no freedom.
I have lost friends and family because I will not comply and go willingly into the new norm. Nor will I ever. No, I will not accept that Biden won by fair voting, no I will not be masked, no I will not give up my guns, and HELL no, I will not be told that I have to take a vaccine that is not even been tested, and the creators can not be held accountable for those who will be injured.
Oh, and if you get a shot, please stay away! I do not want the sluffing you will be spreading that will be deadlier than this virus!! Just Saying!
This new world order that about 40 percent of you are willing to go with, wow, I am so scared for you. It is not what you think it is. I am grateful for all who are walking and talking and taking the time to fight for your rights!! We, the conspiracy theorist. Yeah, the ones who keep looking at what is being said, fact-checking those who lie to us. Those of us in the dark web. ohhwwwwo oo Those of us who are killing grandma by not wearing a face diaper. Really oh MY GOODNESS, I will not go down that BS line of Horsefly food!!
The funny thing is I have had to put a plow on the front of the Nissan Murano so I can get down my road due to all the bodies. You know all the bodies!!
I have seen people pass away because of complications from the other comorbidity they suffer from. I have seen medical complications kill hundreds. But I do not see all the fake made up deaths from one little virus. I will apologize if someone can prove that the poor or unhealthy, taking several pharmaceuticals who died just of a 99.98% survival rate virus! Promise!!
I have a disease that could kill me at any time. If anyone should be scared, it should be me. But I am not living in fear of a virus; NOOO, I have much more I am worried about. Like, I am dealing with panic attacks, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts because of what I fear my government will do to me. I fear that I will be locked up and told I would never see freedom if I do not take their drug that has not been tested or proven not to kill me. I fear not being able to buy food or go fishing or see my grandchildren ever again. I do fear Biden becoming president!! Shit, I fear Trump becoming president. There is no victory in this. Not one man will set a nation free. ONLY the individual can set our America FREE!!!!
Here is another thing you all: God is a gentle being. He allows us to make mistakes. No matter your religion, your spiritual belief, there is only one person who can create the world you want. YOU!
I have been learning this over and over for the past 200 and counting days. I will do what I have to do to protect, honor, and love me.
I will fight for the rights of others as best as I can. I will try and educate those around me. But when it all comes to the end of the day. There is nothing I will make anyone do, say, or think. I will fight for your freedom to give it away. I am just saying!

I wish all a good day, make the right decisions! I am just saying….

I wish all a good day, make the right decisions! I am just saying….

Connecting with your Chi

In these uncertain times, I have been following my emotions. Of course, they all seem to go in many directions. I ended up having to take some time away from my home. I love my house, and I have tried to make it my vacation spot, but there is something about leaving and going off somewhere. I think you have an appreciation for that which you leave and then come back.
I found myself in a deep depression that I could not meditate or emotionally feel my way out.
I live with someone who looks at everything negatively. It is hard to be around that day in and day out. I know that I am learning how to find my center, find good feelings, and leave them alone to their own choices and feelings. We are all free to do as we please.
Yet, I am one who likes to uplift and is uplifted. I love that feeling!!
Life is supposed to be full of differences that help us send out energies to what we want.
When I found that I could not bounce back into a more positive emotion, I knew I needed to find my Chi!
Life is a messenger from the spiritual realm. I know which messages to follow and which ones to let go.
I know I am not just bones and blood. I am an energetic being here on this Earth plane, learning how to create joyous days.
There is no right or wrong way to experience Earth Life. The one thing we forget is to enjoy the journey. Even though some wish to live in a limited lifestyle, it does not mean it is wrong. It is what they chose to be and do. The only way this can affect me is if I allow for it to affect me. My reaction is my message from my inner being; paying attention to what it is saying is my job.
Life is a journey; there is no end; there is no getting to the end; there are only new beginnings.
I found my energy Chi once more when I took time away from the everyday things I do. I made happier choices. I let go and allowed myself to be happy in what I am doing at that moment in my life.
I found that spirit is always talking to me, still guiding me in the direction of joy.
My natural state of mind is supposed to be calm and peaceful.
I found that the very birds are messengers from the spirit world. All that is living has messages from the other side. Energy is our living fuel. I found that I needed to pay attention to this energy more; energy is in my food, and I take in the very breath of life. We need these energies to survive.
But as with anything in this world, we have to take the time to clean or cleanse it. Energy can become muddled, negative and emotionless.
Have you ever after going to a restaurant come home only to have a terrible tummy ache? You think well it may have been to food, but what if those who handled your food had bad energies or where your food came from had negative energies attached to it. If you were listening to your energies, your spirit would have noticed that you felt a little odd about that food. That it had an off taste or you just knew you shouldn’t have eaten it. How many times do you ignore those feelings??
As I allowed these thoughts to come to the forefront of my mind, it was as if I remembered something ancient. I felt I connected with a deeper understanding of who I am. The powerful me came up to help me find my way out of this depression and uncertainty I was feeling!
It is okay to be healthy, happy, and full of abundance. It is okay to want!! If others tell you that you are selfish, tell them, thank you!!
I remembered who I am again, and all the power of my Chi in me.
You might ask what is Chi? The vital force believed in Taoism and other Chinese thought to be inherent in all things. The unimpeded circulation of Chi and a balance of its negative and positive forms in the body are held to be essential to good health in traditional Chinese medicine.
We are given all the tools to deal with what is happening in this Earth realm; those tools are touch, sight, taste, sound, feelings, emotions, and spirit; one must find his way through life with all these tools.
This life is about you, not about others; we are all here to learn and live, we co-create at times, but we are not responsible for how others deal with this life.
We are all free to chose what we want and what we do not want. That is real freedom. That is connecting with your Chi, not being afraid to be your authentic self, no matter how scary it may be. Life is about mistakes, which are not mistakes; they are life lessons.

“Your work has nothing to do with the problem; it has to do with the lining up with source.” Abraham Hicks


Freedom Forever

The belief that you can heal is real. So much going on in the world right now, it is so essential to get the information out there about you, the creator being able to create healing and sickness. 

The CV has created an energy that has some believing the faulty test that are out there—yes, flawed false positive tests. The information is even on the CDC webpage. The test is junk; they are not made to detect the CV.    

The new CV has become a source of pure evil and has been used against the people to keep them in fear. There is a 99.96 percent chance you will survive this new virus. If you believe there is such a thing. I still have not seen any scientific evidence that there is such a Virus. 

I would like to see the third-party tested and lab reports to replicate this virus. Where is this information posted?? And I do not mean that BS that some people are putting out there has only the opinions of some moron who has a duh gree in stupid and not actual science.  

The truth is this, folks. TRUE Science tries to disprove whatever is in question. Where is the real test, the reviews, the discussions? Why are we only listening to one side of the spectrum??? Why is no one in the media or from the scientific community asking these questions??

The ones who do question this CV hoax are censored or removed from their social platform. WHY? What are they trying to hide from us? Why are we not allowed to question what is going on??

Now we have a state of hysteria, where some are forced or told to get tested, we see that those who do not feel ill will come back with a positive test result. Others will be tested and come back negative. There is no consistency; there is nothing but mistake after mistake. And WHY THE HELL do we need to be tested if we do not feel ILL!??? That is just plain STUPID! I do not need a test to tell me if I feel sick!!!!!!!

With the stress comes the illness. I know that if stressed for a long time, I will get sick. The immunity goes down, and the body has to cause a reaction to get rid of the toxins. The terrain of the body is where our problem lies. There is no other way!! If I eat sugar, white flour, GMO’s, MSG, chemicals that preserve the food I eat, I WILL GET SICK!! The sitting for long periods, watching stressful untrue news, and the list goes on. The body’s terrain becomes broken down, the signals to the cells go haywire, and then the opportunist comes in to take over.  

The body starts to fight off the invaders. 

The body runs a fever. The lungs try to push the invaders out through a cough; the body aches because your extraordinary white blood cells fight off infections from bacteria, viruses, fungi, and other pathogens. YOUR WONDERFUL AMAZING BODY KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO!!

All you have to do is give it the living fuel of clean raw foods and get out of its way.   

This CV is a lie, and the story is made up to control the masses. There is no other proof to me. I have studied and looked and asked the questions. There is no proper scientific evidence to say otherwise. Where is the proof folks!!>?? 

The masks are causing harm and do not work. There is no reason to wear a mask anyway. The body was created to protect itself; it has for eons!!

If I told you that you could talk to your Cells, would you? There is scientific evidence of those who have done so. You can talk yourself into health. Yet we are not taught about this. The way you speak of or to yourself can cause many great things to come about. 

I am talking about quantum physics. What is quantum physics: the best description we have of the nature of the particles that make up matter and the forces with which they interact. Energies are all around us, and the way they interact with our atoms is fantastic. I do no justice on this beautiful theory!

The discoveries I have made are remarkable when it comes to healing the body as a whole. The biggest challenge we as spiritual beings face is the corruption of a few, causing mass hysteria in our world right now!!

Sadly, so many are willing to allow the questions and concerns in which they are feeling to be pushed down internally and ignored. 

Then the dis-ease they feel becomes disease!  

I sometimes feel like I am alone in a world of those who exist. Few want to stand up for their GOD given right to be free and to pursue that freedom! 

I came here to live in diversity, to converse with the world around me. To learn from one another about the differences we all have! Yet, most of those around me have shut down and do not want to participate in this world’s reality. I am saddened that there are none who wish to discuss and cuss about the world we live in. It is easier for them to shut down, hide, and compile! Make no waves, fight for the limitations, go with the flow. How boring your world must be not to have those curiosity discussions, not to ask the questions, to be afraid and repressed. My soul hurts for those who wear the muzzle of shame and walk amongst those who do not believe in their power to create. 

 A belief is only a thought I keep thinking. Abraham Hicks Quotes

By NO means am I demeaning those who know no better. Even the bible states, “Father Forgive them for they know not what they do.” I am not angry at anyone for doing what they do. I will though, fight for them to have the freedom to do as they want. Why would I be judgemental or angry at those who are ignorant and don’t know what they are doing or do not know a better way to do something?  

My wish is to educate those who are doing more harm to themselves and those around them!

Look for good things about where you are, and in your state of appreciation, you lift all self-imposed limitations – and all limitations are self-imposed – and you free yourself for the receiving of wonderful things. Abraham Hicks Quotes

I know the saddest thing about this PLANIDEMIC is that I lost so many friends, and this crap has put a strain on my family. How nasty and mean that we have those few who have managed destroyed so much through ignorance.  

By the way, the other day in one of the searches I was doing, I found that our town had more suicides than CV deaths this year to date. It broke my heart!!

 There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. Abraham Hicks Quotes

I hope to see that others will awake and not be afraid to ask why to discuss with one another. To smile at one another in a store and that our world wakes up and takes down those who want to control the many!!

There isn’t anything that I cannot be or do or have. Abraham Hicks Quotes


The Storms of life

After a rainstorm here where I live, my world looks like it is covered in diamonds. The tiny diamonds of raindrops that hang from the spirit tree in my back yard sparkle as the wind gently shakes the branches.

I have been struggling with a lot of growth in my life again. It seems like my thoughts are always streaming. There is a lot of background noise in my thoughts as they race around in my head. There are very few days where I can hear the earth’s breath.

Even though I can sit for hours and meditate, I still have this hum, and these thoughts keep coming. It can be maddening at times. I have been working on letting go of all the mindless chatter that I have.

It is not easy; there are mornings I wake up with all the thoughts of yesterday and the thoughts for today—the worries of family, money, and the stress of staying alive. There isn’t much I can do but ride the views out and know that they too shall pass like our earth’s storms.

So the other day, as I was bombarded with all these thoughts and mind chatter, I laid down on my bed and started to think about a rainstorm. The way the sky darkens, the heavy feeling, the way the body hurts, the anxiety of the up and coming winds. The first flash of lightning is frightening for some. I use to be one of those who would run for the weather radio and sit and listen in fear as the storm grew louder.

I think that a lot of my PTSD came from living in Alabama for nearly nine years. The constant worry of storms and tornados. It got to where I didn’t sleep if I heard a clap of distant thunder.

Life can be like that for me. I can wake up with the best of thoughts. Yet one little hick-up or adverse action, and I am in a fight or flight response. I can’t get the momentum to stop, and I find myself having stress attacks and fighting with others to keep a sense of calm that I do not even have in myself.

The thought of how the storm arrives had me thinking about all the storms in my mind, that cause storms in my body. How does one let go of all the storminess and allow things to pass by?

My reactions to all that I see, hear, and experience has become a nightmare.

As I lay there, thinking of how the storm grows, and how I am experiencing feels the same way, it had me thinking. The storm does go away. It may rain, hail, lightning, blow, and thunder, but it does go away.

Now that I am back in my home state, I have found I do not worry about a storm like I once did.

I got to thinking about how I enjoy thunderstorms more now. When the sky darkens, I feel an excitement; I listen for the clap of thunder, the way the earth smells before and after a storm. How the birds react, how the tiny diamonds on the grass sparkle.  

The rainbow as the skies clear. 

I laid there, seeing all the storm’s beauty, and I felt the noise in my mind start to fade, the humming, the constant worry. I had no idea how much stress I was carrying in my mind as well as my body. 

The mindless chatter took on a voice of appreciation. I could hear the wind, the birds, and the sharp little clicks of my dog’s toenails on the wooden floor. 

Life can become one great big noise, a storm of fear and negativity. It is up to us to reclaim our Goddess given right to calm and appreciate all that we are here to explore and experience. 

As this realization hit me, I cried. It was a release of pent up anxiety and panic. I found a path to peace. Yes, I will stress, Yes, I will have mindless chatter come and go. The word to focus on is the “GO.” Life will go on, and these moments will come and go. 

It is up to me to decide how I will allow them to affect me. It is up to me to determine how I will react to these moments. 

The first thing is to acknowledge the moments, see them, and recognize when the storm is coming. 

Can you see yourself get past the fear and the stress? Can you see yourself on the other side of the mindless chatter?  

Life is amazing. It is not easy, but it can be fun. Life is my career, my passion, my reason for being here. I found that now when I feel overwhelmed, in pain, fearful, or worried. I think about the rainstorm and how this too shall pass, and the other side of it has beauty and renewal there. 

Reach for the thought that feels better, and allow the natural well-being that is yours. Abraham Hicks Quotes

“You always have the power to choose which thought to follow. Choose the one that feels best so that you place yourself in the vibration of that which you desire.” Abraham Hicks



I lost my little Tinkerbell, a beautiful little dog that was such a part of my life. She lived to be 147 years in dog years. NOT bad, especially when she was sick most of her days on this Earth plane.
Her Death was not pretty, but it was natural. She had a warriors spirit, and she tried very hard to beat cancer that she had. My “little,” as I called her, taught me what life should be like.
I miss her every day. I know she doesn’t suffer, but I am selfish and wish she were here.

Tinkerbell’s last days were mostly her and I sitting outside as she looked around and breathed in the mountain air. I watched as she seemed to see things I could not. She could not sit for very long, her legs hurt, and even though I gave her herbs to control the pain, she would get tired, and I would carry her inside to her favorite pillow.

The echos of my voice come through as I ask what more can I do. I was so lost and wanted so much to save Tinkerbell, all my knowledge in Holistic care and herbalism I used. I took her to the vet to have them say there was nothing they could do. I cried and screamed and tried everything I could find from the God-given medicine chest of the herbal world. I gave Reiki treatments and prayed. I even thought about clapping my hands like when Peter-pan asked everyone to say Tinkerbell.

Her last day, she would get out of breath, just walking. I could not handle it anymore, and that night as the first star shone in the sky, I said: Star Bright, Starlight, First star I see tonight, I wish I may I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight. I asked that she go to heaven that night…

She left that night being held and loved; it is fitting that we stood by my spirit tree. She wore a little sweater, and I wrapped her in a white towel. I laid her on her soft pillow and watched her. All night long, I kept checking on her as she laid there so peacefully! I pet her as I walked by and talked to her. My Tinkerbell looked so relaxed for the first time in many days. She was asleep and not suffering.

She and I were always together, and I joked to others that she was my little Franken weenie. She was born into this world sick. I made sure that her good days were the best, and when she was ill, she and I stayed up and healed.

I haven’t cried until today. I haven’t wanted to, and it was easier to clean the house and stay busy. But I wanted to write about her and put this chapter in my book.

I find myself listening for her, looking for her, I am lost not caring for her. For so long, she and I had been together, and now she is gone.

This week I have tried to sit down and morn, I do not want to feel the loss I do not want to be without caring for her. I am at a loss…

Some days are better than others, but I think those days when I think things are better are when I find something else to occupy my time.

The ghosts of the past come through at night when you are alone in the quiet. The movie of those times you laughed and cried, to see her as a puppy, stealing pink underwear and running away so happy those times race across. Tinkerbell was a four-wheeling rider, she loved to stand on a bodyboard in the pool, and I swear she could talk. When you remember what they did and what you did, and the fun of reliving it over and over.

She was my barracuda, she was not a lovey, but Tink was so fun to have around and watch, she reminded me of a cat, Tink loved to sit with you and sleep in the bed, but she was not a cuddle me dog.

I will never forget her, and she will always be beside me as I go through my day.

With time, I know it will become less painful, not better, but the pain will be less harsh. We are not meant to forget, but remember the good times the fun times and the way it was meant to be.

Tinkerbell was one of my favorite chapters in this book called my life, and this is just one of the many chapters I have lived.

In loving memory of my Tinkerbell Lita Rita Montoya Barracuda,
I will never forget you Until we meet again here is seeing you in my dreams!